Herbaceous

Over the weekend, we managed to finish the herb garden.  I say “managed” because as I’ve mentioned before, the sod in this place is brutal.  The grass is old and the roots well-established, and the soil contains just enough clay that separating the two is a feat worthy of a strongman competition.  And the vegetable gardens will be bigger.  I asked the neighbor to borrow his tiller but it’s currently on loan to his son.  Maybe I’ll acquire an ox instead.

Anyway, after two days of hacking and cursing, the sod was removed.  The soil, now exposed, was begging for vegetation, to which I obliged before it started enlisting local volunteers.

But first, we discussed raising the bed.  Despite our valiant efforts of minimizing soil loss, a large quantity still accompanied the sod in its journey to the pile of discarded grass on the side of the house.  That, and the benefits of drainage from a raised bed are obvious.  Visions of logs sticking out the back of the inadequate Honda dampened my spirits, but then I remembered the leftover 2x4s from the fencing installation.  With a little help from the reciprocating saw and sledgehammer, I secured a border with wooden stakes.

herb garden
15 cubic feet of soil in that little car

A lot of fancy dirt later, and raised bed we had.  Lowe’s also had a sale on herbs, which was awfully considerate of them to time that with the weekend of our herb garden project.  And, complementing what I had started under the grow lights, we now have a proper garden of fragrance and seasoning–a symbolic requirement to having an established homestead.

Mmmm volatile plant oils

Can’t wait for the pesto to start flooding in.

–Simon

A Requiem Not Eternal

As I’ve mentioned before, my former job involved maintaining an internal website of procedural company information.  I also tend to have an over-abundance of humor.  This often created unexpected results, much to the irritation of management (e.g. hidden Pokémon GIFs).

At one point, the idea arose to create a serialized novel, hide it in the website, and share the link with just enough people that it would remain an amusing easter egg.  Two chapters in, I wisely chickened out.  However, I now had the seeds for a story.  I dabbled with it off and on, for I always enjoyed writing, and while I knew the chances of ever becoming a published author were akin to being struck by lightening, completing a novel had long been on my bucket list.

My colleagues found the burgeoning story entertaining enough that they encouraged me to continue, so I (always the one to shamelessly find distractions) took the opportunity and indulged.  And because of my coworkers, I had a constant supply of feedback–something critical to the project.  It would have been all too easy to devolve into rhetoric, or abandon it completely.  Except now I had an audience who was expecting regular updates, and advising me where they felt the story should elaborate more (character development, violence, philosophy, universe creation, etc.).  It was because of their involvement that this came to fruition.  Coworkers, I thank you.

Once completed, I debated what to do with it.  Ultimately I submitted my manuscript to a literary agency just to see how the process worked.  They promptly rejected it (as I expected).  I considered repeating the process with other agencies, but decided against it as I did not want to exhaust my emotional energy over a non-critical side-project.  But, growing in popularity is the paradigm of self-publishing.  Of course, it certainly doesn’t carry any prestige, but that hardly mattered.  It allows people to distribute their works contract-free with little risk.  I see it as an opportunity to officially label this project as complete and to finally close the book (so to speak), that I can move on to the next project.

For those interested, it can be obtained here, print on demand:

https://www.createspace.com/7086065

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1545316090/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492798678&sr=8-1&keywords=a+requiem+not+eternal

Additionally, I found CreateSpace’s comprehensive guide incredibly fun and straightforward.  If anyone else is looking to self-publish, so far I’d recommend them.

While a work of dubious literary value, may it still bring you cheap entertainment.

–Simon

A River Runs Through It

Well, a drainage ditch anyway.  If you’ve talked to me about the house at all, then you’ve most definitely heard about the drainage issues, or rather, the complete lack of basic drainage.  See the Get Off My Lawn! series.  The former owner, in her battle against a flooding basement, paid to have it trenched and a sump installed.  After purchasing the house, I’ve since extended downspout drainage, and the sump has remained dry ever since.

Until recently.  We had a very dry summer last year, and it didn’t give me a good baseline with which to predict future water problems.  This spring has seen a lot of water, and now the sump is running.  This in itself of course isn’t a problem–the water is being handled dutifully by the pump.  Outside, however…

ugly hose

Someone had retrofitted a vacuum hose to the outlet.  Again, effective, but incredibly ugly.  And then the kid played with it and cracked it, rendering it useless anyway.  Now, with water pooling against the foundation, my hand was forced.  It was time to finally address this eyesore.

This is the ENE side of the house, under a pine tree.  These factors limit my planting options, but it does make a good candidate for a shade garden.  First though, I needed to trench.  Re-purposing a concrete downspout extender, I could immediately channel the water about 4 feet.

better

But, this was still rather industrial and ugly, and tended to back up (the sump pump probably spits out about 3 gallons whenever it clicks on).  I needed a longer trench and ornamentation.  Mattock, shovel, axe, and reciprocating saw all contributed to the project (damn roots).  I then buried the pipe, planted the hosta which we saved from the apartment (split apart), added some ferns, purchased more hostas, and voila:

shade garden

I now have the beginnings of a respectable shade garden, and effective sump drainage.  Plus, the mason bees really like it.  I like those bees, they’re cute.

–Simon

Decorating the Gas Pole

Over the weekend, Liz decided to begin her front garden project.  The edge of the narrow front yard, terminating in a mailbox and pipeline marker, looked very inelegant.  And I agreed with her assessment.  I hate that ugly marker.

But, there isn’t much I can do about its mere existence.  I imagine removing it would be in violation of some statute regarding the easement, and since the BP contractors have so far been very reasonable with us, I’m opting to not jeopardize our tenuous non-aggression pact.  So, the pole stays.  Other than that, the only restriction was to not plant trees on the easement.  But we got an official okay for anything bush size or smaller.

breaking ground
16 tons…

I’m no stranger to removing sod, but this was the hardest yet.  I swear the roots were a foot deep.  It may not have been virgin prairie, but I’m pretty sure this grass was here since the 60s.  The soil also has just enough clay that the roots wouldn’t pull free–rather they had to be cut.  Ultimately we had to dig up the sod with a shovel, then shear off the dirt and bottom roots with a stirrup hoe.  An hour into the project, Liz rethought the garden’s size.  It did give me an excuse to segue into a discussion about how pioneers on the Great Plains constructed houses out of sod though.

In the end, tenacity won out, and garden we had.  Now filled with acquisitions from the perennial sale, and some annuals from the indoor grow light experiment, we have enhanced the aesthetics of the front yard, and hopefully, detracted from the glaring prominence of that stupid pole.

grow dammit
If I grew a vine on it, it might look like decoration

Henceforth, it shall be know as the Easter garden.

–Simon

Get Off My Lawn! (Part 4)

Work continues on the rain garden–a project whose purpose is ever-more apparent with the recent downpour.  With the ugly gravel pit juxtaposed to the greening lawn, and the last frost date looming, I completed some preliminary additions.

I’m assuming that the garden’s flood/drought cycle will make it perfect for succulents, and as they were already bursting at the seams of their peat pots, I indulged their eagerness and buried the pots in the stone.  Also, I relocated some volunteer tiger lilies, which were wedged against the house’s foundation, predicting that they were hardy candidates for repeated flood cycles.  Now, again I wait.

water garden

–Simon