Forced Childhood

Every artist has their medium.  Snow is not my daughter’s.  My theory (based on the current state of her basement art studio), is that snow is too monochrome (#FFFFFF is sooo pedestrian).

Yet this irritates me, probably due to my own childhood memories.  Texas didn’t offer much in the way of snow, and as our culture as a whole is heavily influenced by the Midwest and New England and their associated images of holiday blizzards, Christmas time always carried with it a bit of melancholy as I peered out the window across a wind-swept and barren Dust Bowl landscape.  I never once rode a sled in my childhood, and on only one notable occasion do I remember building a snowman (to which my dad added breasts, followed by mom administering a mastectomy via garden trowel).

I am NOT having fun

But the joke’s on this youngest generation.  Climate change will either warm the region beyond the point of regular snow, or cool it to the point that it destroys us.  Either way, those quaint Rockwellian scenes will vanish alongside the planet’s biodiversity.  And I, Dad, will mock my child for her youthful indifference.

–Simon

Air Quality

I’ve given a lot of thought to the quality of the air inside the house.  Usually, this train of thought occurs after a sneezing/coughing fit, or after jumping awake due to the early stages of hypoxia.  Which begs the question: why as a species do we even suffer from allergies?  I’m guessing that the dust we choke on is largely a result of the artificial domiciles that we inhabit, and that our ancestors were never terribly concerned with this quandary whilst fleeing lions.

But the modern man, now living in the filth of his own making, must seek a solution.  And naturally, he turns to another creation of man (or retreats to the wilderness for an extended hiatus from all that tuberculosis).  I speak of the air purifier.

I’d say it’s a bit of a misnomer really, or at the very least an exaggeration.  Does a HEPA filter really cleans the air of microorganisms?  But I doubt that’s the problem anyway.  What I needed was something to remove airborne particulates–something to cleanse the colloidal detritus from the air column.  Something…overkill.

So I bought two air filters.  It was intended to be part experiment, really.  But after two months I opened one and saw this.

Where does this stuff come from?

Interestingly, the filter in the living room–the one with laminate–clogs the quickest.  I’m guessing that, without carpet, there’s a lot less available material to trap the dust and it gets airborne a lot easier.  Perhaps once all the carpet is gone, I’ll install more filters.  Then, for the first time in my life, I’ll be able to breathe out of both nostrils at the same time!  That, and the old lady smell will finally be gone from the house.

Until then, I have good health insurance that will pick up the prescriptions for the antibiotics needed to fight off respiratory infections.  Ohio!

–Simon