Shot in the Dark

I’ll begin with a conversation I had recently with my optometrist–it’s the same dialog I share with everyone who asks me about hunting:

Optometrist:  “You hunt squirrels?  What do you hunt them with?”

Me:  “Typically a 20 gauge.”

Optometrist:  “A shotgun?  Is there anything left?”

This is, without fail, the exact followup response, to the word, of everyone who has ever asked me this question.  I’m not sure where this idea came from that a shotgun was akin to a mortar, but I’m assuming the usual source of dramatized misinformation: cinema.  I too have seen many a scene where shotguns have blown people through windows and violently severed appendages, so the masses must think I’m out in the woods Rambo-style, half-naked and clutching a knife in my teeth, blasting animals apart and painting the trees in blood.

So, as a PSA to the casual reader of this post: shotguns aren’t naval cannons.

Now to those who do know what shot sizes are and how they’re designed, I was at a local Cabella’s and saw this:

It’s rare to even find buckshot in 20 gauge, but this Cabella’s not only had that, but 00-buck , 3-ball, and this (2-ball).  Granted, if I ever hunted squirrels with these and actually managed to hit one, there might not be much left.  This is approaching what we could call small artillery, so I guess there is a shred of truth to people’s shotgun presumptions, were I to hunt with grossly inappropriate shot sizes.

But anyway, of course I needed these as an immediate addendum to the zombie-home-defense .30-06.  At the time I was putting that together, my dad asked me if the 150-gr rounds would be sufficient.  I assured him that it would, provided I get a proper head-shot.  But he suggested I needed something with less finesse and more total damage potential.  So here you are, dad.  If any zombies break through the perimeter, a close-range blast with one of these should do the trick.

And of course, if any home-invasion should occur while I’m waiting around for the Zombie Apocalypse, I can dispatch the ne’er-do-well with my 2-balls.