Ventilation

Of all the brilliant ideas the house’s former owner came up with, I recently discovered that one was to disconnect the attic fan.  I have no idea why he did that, aside from being a cheap bastard that didn’t want to pay the costs of running a small electric motor.

Of course this led to some problems.  Notably, our bathroom exhaust and kitchen stove hood fans vent to the attic.  So we’re continually pumping smoke, oil, and steam up there.  We gradually figured this out as subtle cues manifested, like water spots on the ceiling and the smoke detector at the other end of the house going off when cooking.

But despite clear rooftop evidence of a fan once existing, and our neighbor’s assurance that indeed it used to be there, my attic spelunking expedition did not reveal any such evidence.  Nor did I know where to explore.  Nor did I feel so inclined as to lengthen my crawling journey through insulation.  Nay, an alternate solution was needed.

Alternate solution

This is an old rotary blower (courtesy of the Village Elder), which I spliced into an extension cord and mounted to a sheet of plywood cut to fit the width between rafters.  The idea being, that I would mount it against the existing passive heat vent, thereby turning it into a powered vent.

The passive vent

Some 2x4s and deck screws later, with a side helping of profanity, and the fan was affixed.

Of course, the outlet up there I had originally planned to plug it into had to be disconnected, also another dumbass idea of the prior owner no doubt, so I had to fix that, which also revealed other problems: spliced wires not properly contained in a junction box and missing grounding wires.  Projects for another day.  For now, I just wanted this working.  Minimum Viable Product, as they call it in the Agile world.

Ignorance is bliss. Don’t go in your attic. It’ll just make you wonder how your house hasn’t burned down yet.

Finally, I employed a fancy little wireless switch, so I could control it without climbing up there.  And I installed a weather sensor too, so I knew when it was getting too humid.

So how does it work?  It works, but it’s definitely under-powered for the amount of air I’m asking it to move.  I plan to install a second fan at the other end of the house eventually.  But for now, at least the shower steam won’t rot the roof out.  Small victories.

–Simon

Piñata

With the dubious safety of Trick or Treating under pandemic conditions, a safer way was needed for helping the kid develop diabetes.  And fortunately, such a project lay within my own childhood experiences: a piñata!

For the uninitiated, this involves inflating a balloon and coating it with hundreds of glue-soaked newspaper strips.

Then the balloon gets popped and removed from the now rigid structure (after it dries of course).  The resulting cavity is then packed with the aforementioned diabetes-inducing abominations.

After taping over the hole, the piñata must be decorated…by gluing thousands of tissue paper squares in a pleasing arrangement.  Specifically, they must be glued in a crinkle method to enhance texture and notable cheer.  Look at all that family cheer in the above photo!

Photos are then taken, for a piñata’s existence is very…ephemeral.  (Hey!  That’s the name of this blog!)

Piñata’s are then hung by the chimney with care…I mean honeysuckle.

And smashed to oblivion violently with a blunt object!  Releasing their diabetic contents upon the sanitary dirt.  Mother-in-laws assess the situation and offer insight.

Then it’s immolated, to signify life’s return to dust and ashes, or for luck, or because Dad doesn’t want another dust collector hanging around.

So ends the COVID-19 Halloween.  Happy Halloween everyone!

–Simon

Laminate (Part 4)

The laminate saga continues.  To recap: carpet is disgusting and needs to be banished to the inferno!

We had actually installed new carpet in the master bedroom when we bought the house.  It was an emergency solution.  The existing carpet was beyond hope.  It had been cleaned so much that it had unevenly bleached out.  It was also the first glimpse we got of what happens to carpet padding after 50 years.  It had to go, and we had Lowe’s contract the replacement with what we thought at the time would be a long-term solution: Stainmaster carpet.

Burn it!

But carpet is carpet.  And dogs are dogs.  And stink is stink.  And unlimited trash pickup day was arriving.  So here we went again.

That’s right, you can’t handle the responsibility of carpet

But this time, I bought an oscillating saw.  In the past I used a coping saw, but that was laborious.  Plus, it was an excuse to get a new power tool.

Look at that intricate set of perfect cuts!

I also added trim the the closet frames.  And Liz painted a shade of green this time.

Ooooo, all clean and sterile

It does look nice and inviting.  Two more rooms to go!

–Simon

Compost

A few years back I “fondly” recalled my parents’ compost pile.  That was during the Texas years.  It wasn’t fun.  I vowed to never force the experience upon my own kid.

And I have indeed stuck to that principle, though I’ve admittedly since started composting anyway.  But in fairness, there’s a lot of organic waste that needs to be disposed of, and why fill up the trash bins with it?  And we have gardens.  So fine–there are advantages.  But I won’t go crazy with it.

No, I’ll create a quaint and reasonable compost pile.

Right side: last year’s yard waste

Plus, I have a tiller to mix it up, so no manually turning with a pitchfork.

And so far, I’m impressed with how well it’s breaking down.  As new kitchen waste gets added to the pile (something I do make the kid take care of), I simply pile leaves on top from the edges to keep the stink down.

Apparently it’s possible to do these things non-obsessively.  Who knew?

–Simon

Index Funds

Oh goody!  Please let this be another article from a self-proclaimed “expert”, blathering on about long-term plans and investing wisely.

It is not, to be clear.  You are safe here.

So what the hell am I going to talk about?  Why, it is indeed about investing, and probably wisely, and definitely with the long-term in mind.  But I am not an expert.  There’s the difference, I suppose.

FidelityMy employer migrated our 401ks to Fidelity.  I poked around in there for a while, using their retirement score projection algorithm to make some adjustments both to my investment strategy and my contributions.  It was really riveting stuff, but necessary if I ever want to leave cubicle life.  Then they gifted me some restricted stock units (stock I don’t get until I add another 2 years to my tenure), which got me interested in exploring Fidelity’s full site, and not just the dumbed-down version the company maintains for retirement snapshots.  And I admit, it looked cool, in the way a well-designed spreadsheet of data does.

I had never consciously invested for a variety of reasons:

  1. I never had the liquid assets to buy stock shares
  2. I knew very little about how the stock market works
  3. I was afraid
  4. It looked like a lot of work

But then I heard of Index Funds.  Well, I had heard of them before but never gave them much thought.  Their mention tended to pop up on podcasts and news segments, so the seed had been planted well before I seriously considered buying them outright (I don’t consider my 401k to be that granular–though it technically is investing in index funds under special tax benefits, albeit about as hands-off as you can get).

And after some rather very basic research, discovered that:

  1. Many of them required no minimum investment and have very small fees
  2. I didn’t need to know much to benefit from them
  3. Risk could be mitigated with preference–how safe an index I was willing to buy
  4. The investment strategy for them is passively managed and I could auto-invest, requiring almost no effort on my part

Okay, sounded kind of fun.  I searched for Fidelity-owned index funds that matched these qualifiers.  I decided to “diversify” with 3 of them, ultimately choosing 4 so I could have a dividend-paying index to add to the mix:

index funds

I linked my savings account for EFTs and bought $10 of each, then configured their auto-invest feature to automatically perform an EFT and buy $10 for each one on a rotating weekly basis.  I was an official investor!

Then COVID-19 struck and I subsequently lost 17% of my investments.  Ah well, I suppose they’ll go up again eventually (I won’t even mention what it’s done to my 401k!).

losses
My investment of $50 is now worth $41.26. Awesome.

But stocks are up today!  I might make a buck or two back!  Time will tell how well this works over the long term.  And I now have one more old man hobby to occupy my hours of solitude in the basement.

Liz has threatened to tell her father I’m investing so we have something to talk about.

Oh god.

–Simon