Winter Attire

scoutsI am not from Ohio.  I spent my adolescence in Texas.  Consequently, upon moving to Ohio, I discovered cold winters to be a bit of a novelty.  I certainly wasn’t a stranger to cold, by my experience with it was primarily derived from Boy Scout camping trips in the mountains of New Mexico.  As a result of these very specific circumstances, I learned how to dress appropriately for the elements because I couldn’t escape by going inside.  Apparently this respect for the natural word is a bit uncommon in our overly-comfortable lives.

Upon moving to Ohio, I gradually realized that I needed to wear a coat/jacket 5 months of the year.  That’s right, almost half the time I need some sort of protection from the cold.  What does this mean to any self-respecting young man who mildly cared about his appearance?  It means, if I am to wear a coat constantly, it should at least have a modicum of style.

Like most people at the time, I had a tactical fleece coat with a brightly-colored nylon outer shell.  In hindsight, I find it a bit odd that this is still the general preference, since I highly doubt that anyone wearing one is about to depart on some expedition into the wilderness.  A tactical coat might be effective, but it looks juvenile when worn out of context.  For example, it doesn’t pair well with slacks and a button-down.  And yet, for those who even bother to wear a coat at all (more on this later), it is the go-to combination.

Boy Scouts has paramilitary origins (i.e. scouting).  And unlike the scouts programs in more liberal regions, scouts in Texas definitely honored its beginnings: we marched in uniform, carrying our gear; we hiked to exhaustion; we trained with rifles; we routinely practiced field medicine.  You get the idea.  And I believe that my involvement in this program as a youth still influences me in adulthood–even though I’ve always remained a civilian.

Ultimately, through some combination of the above factors (sense of style, function, and regimented discipline), when it’s cold, I turn to a garment which embodies this function/style fusion: my trenchcoat.

matrix
Not like this…

Ah yes, no doubt you’re having visions of school shootings now, or flashers, or Nazis, or…The Matrix (people still think it’s funny and original to call me Neo (it’s not)).  I find it curious that a garment has become an icon for the violent and sexually deviant.  I’d like to say that I’m neither (fairly certain).  But the trenchcoat does has military origins, and was therefore born of practicality.

russian
Like this, because it’s COLD

Granted the ones I wear now have been adapted from their original purposes, but the protection they offer is unequaled.  They cover the whole torso and upper legs, have multiple layers of differing fabric, and an air gap.  In terms of coverage and insulation, you couldn’t ask for a more effective coat.  My point being–this type of winter wear has form and function, and a good choice for the modern man to look well-dressed, respect nature’s brutality, and to posses the discipline to wear the appropriate clothing despite comfort and convenience.

As an aside, I’ve also noticed that many don’t even bother with winter attire at all.  I’m definitely the only one in a building of ~1400 people who wears a trenchcoat, yes, but I’m also one of a small number who puts on any coat.  It was 18 degrees outside recently and I only saw hoodies.  I’m not sure if this is common in the Midwest in general, or if this is an Ohio thing.  But, it has been my experience that these regional natives never wear winter-appropriate clothing, and yet they complain about the weather constantly.

Why do functional and stylish garments fall into disuse?  I could make this same argument for the fedora, but even I’m not quite ready to go that route.

So, you might look at me strangely, but I’m dressed appropriately for the weather, but when your car breaks down, it’ll be your frozen corpse on the roadside.

–Simon