Poppy

No one owns a single whippet.  A quick search for whippets will reveal owners who collect them like antique silver spoons, or guns, or something.  Those are appropriate similes, given the peculiarities of both the breed and their owners.  So when Tori died, the pack became fractured, and another whippet needed procurement.

Such a task was easier said than done, but Liz can be quite determined.  After contacting the vet/breeder who acquired Tori, and after what I presume was a lengthy negotiation (and a hefty deposit), we had a whippet reserved.

Funny thing about specialty breeds–there’s no way to just get one.  No, there’s paperwork and genealogy tracing and AKC registration and contractual obligations (apparently this whippet’s father is a champion).  There was more paperwork behind getting a whippet than there was for having a kid.  But ultimately, whippet we had.

Naturally, this meant we couldn’t choose our whippet, but that hardly mattered.  Their endearing qualities are ubiquitous, and since she was a puppy, there’s wasn’t much concern for worrisome idiosyncrasies (like violent outbursts).

As a bonus, she took to the kid right away–who named her: Poppy.

Faye, however, is less than tolerant.  I just don’t get it.  She pouted when we got Tori, she pouted when Tori died, and now she’s pouting that we got a new whippet.  I think she just doesn’t like change.

No matter.  Once again we have a whippet pack.

–Simon

Tori

Whippets: one of the goofiest breeds of dogs.  Their dopey intellect combined with their lanky builds, incredible speed, laziness, and absolute demand that they snuggle and not sleep on the floor–gives them such a darned endearing personality.  It’s so endearing, that rarely can you find a whippet owner who only has one.

So it was that we acquired Tori–the whippet addendum.  Liz thought that Faye needed a whippet sister, but in reality I think that was just a response to this universal need to collect them.  After extensive searching, she found a vet who breeds, shows, and rescues whippets.  One of these rescues, Tori, was so nervous and scared that she was ill-suited for showing.  She sat around the vet’s office for a time, until she was sold to us.

Always a mama’s dog

When we picked her up, Tori was wearing a green handkerchief.  She was terrified of the change, and especially afraid of men–a fear which never fully dissipated.  She took cookies from Liz but not me.  We bought her her own cage, but she refused to used it–preferring to accompany Faye.  She quickly adapted to nights on the bed, however, but bit me once in fear when I came to join late one night.

That’s the dopey whippet look

She never outgrew her wariness of people, but time made her less cautious, and while it was a rare moment to see her play like a dog should, she would still bark when she wanted something, give paw incessantly when she was feeling especially whippety, and took cookies from anyone who offered.  She was a regal whippet, and never reduced herself to fighting with the rabble.  When Faye overstepped her boundaries, Tori would either push her aside, or growl; and that was enough.  The rest of the time she spent sitting in her chair in the bedroom–her throne–far from the noise and chaos of the world.

One of the few men she took a liking to was my dad

Yet she had her less-endearing peculiarities.  I never figured out why she loved bread so much, but she would steal it out of the trash and off the counter, making a giant mess of crumbs in the process.  And she stole bones.  In fact, she had a predilection for systematically removing every item from the trash, irrespective of its classification as food, and arranging the debris on the carpet.  But ultimately, she found her niche in the family.

Like all whippets, she loved the sun

Then she started losing weight.  Until this point, she had had her share of medical problems.  She had tumors, arthritis, and nerve pain; but she was strong and rarely complained about her ailments, and until now she had fought through them.  But her weight loss accelerated, so upon the vet’s recommendation, we started feeding her soft dog chow.  She scarfed that stinky stuff down and it helped for a time, but a couple weeks ago, she stopped eating this too, and began showing more overt signs of digestive problems.

One of her last lucid moments, before she stopped responding

She leaked blood, stopped moving, and became completely emaciated within days.  Suspecting the worst, we made a vet trip.  The diagnosis pointed to a ruptured ulcer, and lacking practical treatment options, we proceeded with euthanasia.  With all the stoicism I could conjure, I watched as the vet injected Tori, and within seconds, she stopped breathing.  The receptionist handed us tissues.  My composure failed.

I spent the day digging her grave.  I buried her with a can of that stinky chow and some cookies.  Liz adorned the site with daffodil and crocus bulbs.

Bye, Tori

I want my dog back, but I’d rather she didn’t hurt anymore.  I hope she has the comfiest chair and stinkiest chow, wherever she is.  I miss you, Tori.

–Simon

Genetics

Liz bought me one of those genetics tests for Father’s Day.  I’ve been waiting for the results since, but they came in today, thus putting to rest the quandary of whether I’m Irish or Scottish.  Turns out I’m definitely not Irish, at least not according to the DNA in my saliva.

I assume Great Britain is referring the the isle, as the regional color indicates, which would naturally include the Scots, thereby explaining the Moorhead surname.

This also confirms the German in me, which is no surprise.  That’s mom’s side.

I surmised that there was some Scandinavian blood.  They had a tendency to spread their genetics all over during the Viking age.  So confirmation on that too.

The Iberian genes were somewhat unexpected, but since we’re going back thousands of years, Iberia was Celtic/Gaulic, so that makes sense.

The test also provided me an analysis of to where my people have migrated within the last several generations.  Cincinnati isn’t exactly a surprise (again, mom’s side).

Looks like I’m living with my own.  No major genetic shockers.

–Simon

Pass!

Okay, I have one more Wisconsin post, and this is the last one, I promise.

Admittedly, I should have posted this sooner, to establish a more cohesive chronology.  But this isn’t as interesting as the nature posts, since I’m just ranting here.

I am calling attention to the little town of El Paso, WI:

Fuck this place

I can only conclude that this place’s existence is entirely dependent on the fact that state route 24 intersects with I-39, creating a settlement out of opportunity, and therefore so aptly-named: El Paso.

We made the mistake of stopping here last year, on the way home.  There was one gas station, and it uses its location to exploit a price hike, but it does so in a tricky manner–advertising the price of gas with a car wash, but that fine print is a little hard to read from afar.

The men’s restroom was out of order, so I was forced to use a porto-potty, which was the most disgusting confined space I’ve ever been forced to endure.  After retching to the point of delirium, I went into the station to buy hand sanitizer–which they didn’t have.  So I bought a ridiculously expensive bottle of rubbing alcohol to substitute.

Yet we forgot these experiences, and made the mistake of stopping there again.  After abandoning the drive-thru at the local McDonalds because we were unwilling to wait 20 minutes, we got gas, and fell victim to the false-advertising again.

So, if you ever find yourself in this town, my advice–just drive on.

–Simon