I picked up Skyrim again. I do love me some Oblivion, but once the latter’s quests are completed, the world feels a bit empty. Skyrim, on the other hand, has its Radiant quest system and unique dungeons, so there’s always something to do and somewhere to explore.
And it was between these explorations that I wandered back into Whiterun to pawn my loot. I had also been leveling archery, and I had a bow equipped. I was experimenting with it, as I had recently taken a perk to slow time when drawing the bow, and was unwisely priming the weapon while in the town square.
It was at this moment that everyone’s favorite character, Nazeem, approached and began his usual line of condescension. Ordinarily, he just jeers passersby without formally starting conversation, but for some reason, perhaps because I had my bow drawn, his comment began the conversation mode. This had the amusing side-effect of loosing the arrow, which then caught Nazeem in the neck mid-sentence.
With a cry, he collapsed, dead.
I was amused, certainly, and completely without remorse, like when a Halo marine dives in front of my warthog. The town guard, however, was not amused. Apparently brazen murder was still frowned upon, even when the victim was generally disliked by the townsfolk. Fortunately, my heroic deeds earlier in the game had earned me the title of Thane, and so I had been granted one get-out-of-jail-free card. I informed the arresting officer of my status, and he left.
To show my disregard for human life (for now I was a callous murderer), I stripped Nazeem of his possessions and left his naked corpse to rot in the street. And I shot another arrow into him, just for fun.
Then another guard approached me (apparently oblivious to the recent conversation) and questioned me about the body, and if I knew anything about the recently departed’s death. I assured him that I did not, and my smooth choice of words had him on his way.
I used this newfound confidence to then murder the town’s ranting preacher–the one who screams 12 hours a day. So if nothing else, the streets are a tad more pleasant to walk now. Saving the world is so cliché–nay, this is my gift to the good people of Whiterun.
–Simon